Sweet Surrender
by Damion Starr
Summary: What do you do when your mind is warring with your body? Or your heart? (Slash: Shepford)


Sweet Surrender

Author's Note: Yet another slash fic from moi. Enjoy! Told from John's POV. Shep/Ford

Disclaimer: Atlantis is not mine...and that's probably for the best.

"Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged!" _Romeo And Juliet_ Act I, Scene V

I have absolutely no idea how it happened. One minute, I'm just walking along, talking to him, minding my own business, the next, I shoved him against the wall and devoured his mouth.

I guess it all started about a month ago, when the dreams began. I don't have to go into details, do I? Good, because then you would probably hit me and call me a pervert. It's not like I could help it! Do you think I want to have a wet dream about my own lieutenant? Wait, don't answer that.

The dreams, no matter how enjoyable (Don't look at me like that!) _were_ annoying. How would you feel if you woke up, hard as a rock, while the cause of your...situation slept nearby, as well as your other teammates? Yeah, well, how about if you were on another planet? That's what I thought.

I managed to hide it, somehow. Luckily, I don't talk in my sleep, so nobody caught on. At least, that I know of.

This is an...interesting development. Somehow, my dick took over my brain for just a moment, but that was long enough. Long enough for me to, like I said earlier, shove him against the wall and kiss him; hard.

I keep waiting for him to hit me, push me away, start screaming 'rape', anything, but he doesn't. He freezes for a moment, then kisses me back. He even grips the sleeves of my jacket and pulls me so our bodies are pressed together. I feel his erection against mine and I moan, low in my throat. I shouldn't be doing this, I know that. Hell, he probably knows it, too. Against the incessant callings of my libido, I pull back, putting just a few inches between our bodies, but keeping my hands in place, one on his hip, the other on the wall beside his head.

"We shouldn't do this," I gasp, out of breath.

"I know," He's breathless, too. We kiss again, both of us moaning this time. Oh, God, I want this, I want -

"We can't do this," I pull back furthur this time and focus on a spot on the wall, above his head. Just stare at the wall.

"I know,"

Goddamit, why can't I stop kissing him?! This is wrong! I don't mean because he's a guy. Believe me, I am the last person to be homophobic. To each his own, right? This is wrong because: A.) He's my second-in-command, and B.) He's my friend. If we get caught, we could get court martialed, and that would destroy our careers. Maybe I'm willing to flush my future down the toilet, but not his. Especially if it's all because I can't control my damn hormones. And as for our friendship, I value that way too much to lose, again, over my fucking hormones...oh, shit, I should not have said the "f" word.

"We really can't do this," I drag myself across the hallway and don't stop until my back hits the opposite wall. "We could get in a lot of trouble," Crap, it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself. Please don't let him pick up on that.

"Dr. Weir wouldn't court martial us," He takes a step away from his wall, his deep intense eyes fixated on my lips.

"True, but -" I hold up a hand and he stops dead in his tracks. "But...this is exactly how rumors get started," Ooh, nice one, John. Way to think on your feet.

"Since when do you care?" His voice is deep and full of lust without his meaning to. Oh, God, he is so damn sexy. I also noticed he looks very nice bare chested, his lean, slender torso glistening...No! Stoppit, John, think of something else, anything on, come up with something, idiot!

"I don't know,"

God Damn It, Stop It! Stop kissing him and pressing your body against his and...

"No," This time, stay apart! "No, no, nononononononono, no. We shouldn't and we can't and...and that's it," Way to sound smart, dumbass.

"You're right," He seems to finally get ahold of himself. "You're right, we can't do this," All the lust and desire is gone, and in their places are embarassment and uncertainty.

"Okay, this is what we are going to do. We are going to go to our quarters, jerk off, go to bed, wake up in the morning, and pretend like this didn't happen," No, you don't suggest it, you order it! Order it, butt-munch!

Did I just call myself a "butt-munch"? Oh, sweet Jesus.

"Right, this never happened," He confirms with a nod.

"Right," I nod as well and we go our separate ways, refusing to make eye contact. I reach my quarters, close the door, then slump back against it. You are going to stay here all night, got it?! Just stay in this room all night and everything will be okay. Go ahead, fantasize all you want, but you are not leaving this room!

"Right," I repeat, straightening. I take one step away from the door and there's a knock. Don't answer it, ask who it is. If it's him, you will not - I told you don't answer the damn door!

Aiden Ford is waiting on the other side. We say nothing, just practically lunge at each other and kiss. I blindly close the door, then push him back against it so hard that I hear his head connect solidly with it. Shit. Go ahead, Sheppard, knock him out, you kinky bastard. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I smile a little as I ask.

"Yeah, I'm okay," He's smiling as well, rubbing the back of his head. God, I love that smile. Any smile on him is absolutely dazzling.

We don't go right back to making out like a couple of horny teenagers. We seem to have a little more self-control now. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes," He responds, his voice solemn, but a small smile still in place.

"Really? Because -" He silences me with a kiss. It's not manic or desperate like in the hallway. It's more sweet and gentle.

"I have never been more certain of anything in my life," He says quietly when our kiss breaks.

"Me, either," I whisper before I kiss him again.

You know what, screw consequences. Screw discretion and protocol. Right now, we're in another galaxy, my CO is a civilian, and death hangs over our heads every day. I'm done being careful. I want him, plain and simple. Not just to, ahem, do, but to be with. I want to fall asleep next to him, then wake up holding him. I want to talk to him late at night, when the city's sleeping, about...anything.

I surrender completely to my body, forcing my military-trained mind to take a holiday.


End file.
